Nicki Did it Better

Thank god for this woman. Watching this video reminded me I have a lot of things to say about “All About That Bass,” besides the fact that I’m sick of hearing it every 20 minutes on the radio.

If you don’t feel like watching the whole thing, her parody cover of the song basically takes the few positive lines from Trainor’s lyrics and elaborates on them, telling girls not to worry about their body shape at all, bass or no bass. And to this I say amen, because I’ve had issues with the song since I first heard it.

First of all…what exactly is Trainor referring to when she says treble? Obviously bass refers to your butt, buns, backside, booty, whatever you want to call it. Does this imply treble means boobs? Or does it mean “a lack of butt?” I’m confused. So are many others. Please explain, Trainor.

I AM a size 2…
Ok, I’m not. But what if I were? Being a size 4 isn’t much better, so I am kind of offended that Trainor thinks being small is not cool. Like #sorrynotsorry that I’m short and my mom is short and I have her build, so I’m naturally petite and don’t have a lot of “bass.” I didn’t ask for this body type. Neither did anyone who is 5’7″ or 6’3″. We were born this way, baby. So what’s the problem with small?

“Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”
Two things here. Is MT saying I should only worry about what boys think of my body? Because last time I checked I should be the one happiest in my skin, boys still like girls with small butts, and girls can be lesbians. So that negates pretty much everything this line had to offer. Second, who said I’m going to let a dude hold my butt all night? Even with a boyfriend I would not want him sleeping next to me and grabbing hold of my ass, so I can’t imagine what this line would imply for single women who may not even be in bed with their suitor or potential mate.

“I know you think you’re fat.”
HOLD UP. She just stereotyped every “skinny” girl based on the few of us who find some way to claim we are fat when we’re obviously not. People on reality TV shows do this, a few people in real life do this, but I think most skinny people don’t. No one would jokingly say they felt fat if they actually did. I know I’m skinny. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. But don’t label me as insecure just because you used to be.

In general, I get the message MT is trying to send. She wants the curvy girls to feel sexy in their curvy skin. I just wish she wouldn’t have bashed the petite population (or worse, the newly slim and trim population that worked incredibly hard to lose weight to be healthy) along the way.

IMO, Nicki Minaj made the same point, although admittedly in a more vulgar fashion, with “Anaconda,” which was released shortly after “All About that Bass.” And Nicki said it better. You want to be proud of your butt? Go for it. Sing about it until your lungs collapse. Just keep in mind insulting other people along the way is a sign of weakness, and Nicki’s got none of that.